Back to reality

I’m sure this title is so common. I’m sure it’s overused and a common meaning is I just got back from vacation. Well that’s not the case today. Today I was reminded of my reality when I came home from a late work meeting and read an email from the teacher letting me know my little boy was on yellow AGAIN. Yes, again. I sat wondering how to handle it and got a little angry because I had to handle it alone. No one there for the millionth time, just me. I wasn’t allowed to be tired or tell his dad to deal with it, there was no dad to call on. I try so hard to never ever wallow in the misery of my kids having one parent. I try so hard to think of others situations and remind myself how blessed I am. But today when I came back to my reality, I couldn’t help but send my angels to bed, drink some wine, and cry. Because sometimes I’m just tired of doing this alone.

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My first time

On a soap box of course, my first time on a soap box.
This morning I ran into one of those Who Cares people, the type that loudly exclaims “I do what I want, who cares what people think.” Well damn it I do! I care. I care that we have gotten so self absorbed in our own thoughts and behavior that we forget the bigger picture. That morals and ethics can be and are often driven by being mindful of the people around us.
Honestly their comment wasn’t malicious it was just overwhelming. It makes me realize how much those “Who Cares” people really are people pleasers. That everyone’s trying to one up the other, and forgetting that they’re affecting those who do care. Those who are empathetic to the folks around them and see kids are now responding with the same “I don’t care attitude.” Be considerate when throwing around the “who cares.”

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Reading your mind

Pardon me while I go random. I just started this blogging thing so I’m reading any and everything.
I’m laughing, I’m crying, I’m stunned, I’m intrigued, and sometimes I’m just plain confused. It’s relieving to read these blogs and most seem to have one goal, to speak their mind. I’ve spent a majority of my time reading the news, articles, and comments in an attempt to understand why people think the way they do. It doesn’t help. What it’s done though has helped me learn more about me, my likes, my dislikes, and a content in sometimes not having an opinion at all. People generally seem to want your opinion, not to understand it but to find flaws in it…And frankly Ain’t nobody got time for that 😉
I’m excited to have a place to share my thoughts, my opinions, and my life.
Blog on bloggers – can’t wait to read more!

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Shameless

I’ve been reading “I stayed” and “I left” stories for the past couple of weeks. I’ve been reading men and women overlook the shame of these victims, and tried hard not to fall back into the thought that it was my fault. I don’t share my story and I’ve realized that’s a disservice for anyone who needs to hear it.

“I stayed because I believed him when he said it was the last time.
I stayed because he threatened me and my children’s lives if we left.
I stayed because I couldn’t afford to leave.
I stayed because I believed that was all I was worth.
I stayed because I felt everyone was tired of me crying wolf and I was ashamed of asking for help.
I left because I couldn’t imagine my daughter ever going through it.
I left because I didn’t want my son to become him.
I left because if I didn’t I was going to die, and that wasn’t going to happen.”

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Parenting with high expectations

Today was just another lesson in parentingimage. I picked up my daughter and knew something was wrong, the minute we got in the car she burst into tears. Those big full of hurt tears that lasted the whole car ride home, it scared me, had my mind spinning on what could of happened to her. “Mom I got an F, are you mad at me” .. It broke. my. heart. that over an F she felt like a failure, because of expectations I created.
As her parent my responsibility is to remind her she’s enough and her worth isn’t based on a stupid F. She teaches me so much about myself everyday.